Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What is it called when the police work overtime?

Copper Nitrate.

Why do teenagers want to work for Intel?

Core i3, i5, i7... ican't even! Edited from: >They can't even

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What can I get you today?

Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?

A double Manhattan on the rocks.

What do women and rocks have in common?

You can skip the flat ones.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned