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Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

How do you turn two colors that work into a rainbow that doesn't?

Colorizebot

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

What is today's best punch line?

Paul christoforo

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What did one rock say to the other?

Ha, you really think rocks can talk

Why should you not throw stones at a knight?

Because heavy metal is harder than rock.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What did the stone say to the hill?

Let's Rock and Roll.

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones