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Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What does a pirate wear if he works at Apple?

IPatch

How many frames per second does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 because that's peasants work.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

What did the doughnut say to the cop?

Don't glaze me, bro

What is the biggest obstacle in getting rich quickly?

Cops

Swine Flu Jokes More Swine Flu Jokes

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)