Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a security guard who works at Samsung?

A Guardian of the Galaxy

Why are the best accountants twins from Prague?

Because they always double Czech their work!

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?

He was trying to bust a move

How was the party last night?

17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl.

Swine Flu Jokes More Swine Flu Jokes

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.