Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did the table fan say to his boss when he couldn't get to work on time?

Ah-so-late!

How does a conceptual artist change a light bulb?

He calls it a work of art.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

What do you call a midget psychic running from the cops?

A small medium at large!

Why did the cop climb the tree?

He worked for a special branch.

Swine Flu Jokes More Swine Flu Jokes

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

One requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.