Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

One requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu.

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

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How many German does it take to take down a plane?

One. Because he's very efficient and silent while doing it.

What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane?

A boeing constrictor

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

Bird Flu Jokes More Bird Flu Jokes

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers?

Because they only use half pipes.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do you call a dad without jeans?

A potato.

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!

How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

Start from scratch!

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Why did 20 blondes stand outside the bar?

Because you need to be 21 to get in.

What's grey and never needs ironing?

A drip dry elephant!

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What language do birds speak?

Squackhili

How do birds record their songs?

On duck tape!