Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

One requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu (joke my dad made up a couple years back during all this)

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

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What did the baby computer call his dad?

Data!

What do r/jokes and my dads jokes have in common?

They don't get better with age

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Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

What word starts with "n" and you never want to call a black person?

Neighbor

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What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

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What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?

You can't make your van gogh.

Why did he do that?

Who is she What does that mean When did that happen Why How I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema

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What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone!

What do You Use?

Girl: Adobe Photoshop CS5!

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

What's the one thing make a wish foundation can't give you?

The cure

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How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

Why don't I like trees?

They look kinda shady to me

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Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.