Swine Flu Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

One requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How did the pig get out of the tree?

The swine flu.

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

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Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

When pigs get a toothache who do they see?

Painless Porker.

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Flu Jokes More Flu Jokes

What do you call a virus named Enza that causes the flu?

A flu Enza. Thanks a lot everyone, I looked forward to this day for a long time.

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

Why can't you lie to an aborted fetus?

It wasn't born yesterday.

What did you do for Mothers Day yesterday?

Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the internet pirate get scurvy?

He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore.

What type of gun is used by a pig that is good with the ladies?

A smoothbore.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between america and a yoghurt?

A yoghurt develops a culture After sitting there for 100 years.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant?

It'll Dimsum.

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you think of this, you spin really fast and I'll fly a kite from the wind you make?

I'm not a big fan.

Why did the fly fly?

Because the spider spied'er. (SFW)

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What did the tree say to the mountain?

Stop peaking at me.

What does the tree says in autumn?

Leaf me alone.