Oinkment Jokes

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu you need tweetment. If you have swine flu you need oinkment.

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What does a pig put on it's nose for a sunburn?

Oinkment!

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

One requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What does a pig put on his cut?

Oinkment

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment!

What does a pig use for his skin?

Oinkment.

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

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Nothing, they're both dead stars.

What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction?

There's only one Bender in Futurama

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How do Canadians take care of their skin?

Maybe it's maple leaf.

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV?

Jar Jar Binks

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Who's there! Cameron! Cameron who?

Cameron film are needed to take pictures!

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

So the violists don't need to be retrained.

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How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do pigs like with chow mein?

Sooey sauce.

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

Tweetment Jokes More Tweetment Jokes

What does a bird with an injured wing need?

Tweetment!

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

Sick Pig Jokes More Sick Pig Jokes

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment!

What should you do with your sick pig?

Make it into cured bacon

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why was the whiteboard angry with the Eraser?

The Eraser had rubbed the Whiteboard the wrong way.

What do you get when you rub two orange juice boxes together?

Pulp friction.