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Cure Jokes

How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did the apathetic philosopher doctor say?

Who cures?

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee.

How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

What's the one thing make a wish foundation can't give you?

The cure

What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon?

The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from.

What did the man in the "Race for a Cure" say to the three people beside him?

We're walking four abreast.

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Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

Why aren't PhDs real doctors?

Because real doctors have cures.

How to cure affluenza?

Introduce him to Warhammer.

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How does a mathematician cure constipation?

How does a mathematician cure her constipation She works it out with a pencil.

How did the Mathematician cure his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

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Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!

How do you spot the blind man at a nudist beach?

Well..it's not hard

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What is the ardent task of searching for a new wallpaper called?

Running a Backgroud Check.

How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates... 'run around a lot!'

Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

What do mathmeticians do when they are constipated?

Work it out with a pencil

What kind of stretches does a pencil do?

Ticondeyoga

Pane Jokes More Pane Jokes

What do you call a window that can rap?

Two Panes

What do windows feel when they get hurt?

Pane!

Excite Jokes More Excite Jokes

Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada?

It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why was the Windows PC broke?

It ran out of cache.

Why have all these complete strangers started to poke around outside my window?

They wanna peek-a-chu.

Medicine Jokes More Medicine Jokes

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

How do you greet people at a funeral?

Mourning, everybody!

What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral?

Mourning Wood