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Cure Jokes

How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

We've Got This Love Thing Down
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What did the apathetic philosopher doctor say?

Who cures?

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee.

How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

What's the one thing make a wish foundation can't give you?

The cure

What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon?

The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from.

What did the man in the "Race for a Cure" say to the three people beside him?

We're walking four abreast.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

Why aren't PhDs real doctors?

Because real doctors have cures.

How to cure affluenza?

Introduce him to Warhammer.

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How does a mathematician cure constipation?

How does a mathematician cure her constipation She works it out with a pencil.

How did the Mathematician cure his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

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Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why is it called Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9.

What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

Headache Jokes More Headache Jokes

Hows your headache?

Husband: She's fine.

What's w/the ice pack?

12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache 12: Yes.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why does nobody laugh at zombie-Peter Pan's jokes?

He always tells them with a dead Pan face.

How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out?

You can see the definition.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

What's the capital of Brazil?

My daughter: that's a secret

What kind of dog is best at keeping secrets?

Hush puppies

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

Salami Jokes More Salami Jokes

What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the man say when he ran out of clothes?

Oh dear, it seems I'm shirt on clothes.

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run!