Cure Jokes

How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

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What did the apathetic philosopher doctor say?

Who cures?

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee.

How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

What's the one thing make a wish foundation can't give you?

The cure

What makes a salami excited?

When the ham is cured!

How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

What's the difference between eugenics and a charity marathon?

The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from.

What did the man in the "Race for a Cure" say to the three people beside him?

We're walking four abreast.

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Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

Why aren't PhDs real doctors?

Because real doctors have cures.

How to cure affluenza?

Introduce him to Warhammer.

How did they cure the swine flu?

With oinkment.

How does a mathematician cure constipation?

How does a mathematician cure her constipation She works it out with a pencil.

How did the Mathematician cure his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

How do you tell X chromosomes from Y chromosomes?

You pull down their genes.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

What's the difference between healthcare.gov and Derrick Rose?

Healthcare.gov was broken and now it works.

Excite Jokes More Excite Jokes

What discovery was the garden's mathematician excited about?

AVOCADO'S NUMBER!

Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada?

It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What do women and Google have in common?

They never let you finish first. (#s)

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

Sip Jokes More Sip Jokes

What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured?

Icee.

What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it?

Who are these iron-mouthed warriors

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What kind of cigars does Baby Jesus smoke?

Mmmph!) Meek &amp Milds!!!!:0

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

Pane Jokes More Pane Jokes

What did one window say to the other window?

I'm in pane

What do windows feel when they get hurt?

Pane!

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig?

A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

What does a pig put on his cut?

Oinkment