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How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

The picture doesn't scream when you hang it.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you call a mushroom with a 12 in stem?

A fungi to hang out with

Where do you think you're going at this hour?

Gun hangs head & turns around

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a post on r/Jokes is unoriginal?

It makes the front page.

How do you tell two witches apart?

You can't! You don't know which witch is which!

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What kind of pictures do hermit crabs take?

Shellfies

What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror?

A camera that takes pictures of itself.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What is the difference between a doorknob and a Zika baby's head?

When you twist the doorknob it doesn't scream.

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.