How'd you get a black eye?

Walked into a door. Later, another shiner More doors *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.

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Door Jokes More Door Jokes

What do you call a door with no legs?

A door.

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call Jimmy Savile walking down the street?

British... a paedestrian... *grabs coat, shuffles out of room in silent shame*

What do you call a snobish criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you tell a man with two black eyes?

Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

Nod Jokes More Nod Jokes

How'd you get a black eye?

Walked into a door. Later, another shiner More doors *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.