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How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his cup of free-trade coffee?

Because he started drinking it before it was cool.

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What's the difference between amnesia and alzheimers?

I can't remember.

What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website?

REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did the sun god say in apology for all he had done wrong?

I Apollogize".

How do we know God likes condoms?

Because Adam was ribbed for Eve's pleasure

Bedtime Jokes More Bedtime Jokes

What time is bedtime at Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.