How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How about Epidural Anesthesia?

I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.

How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?

I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost

Wave Jokes More Wave Jokes

How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?

Wave at him

What did one flag say to another?

Nothing! They just waved.

Lifeguard Jokes More Lifeguard Jokes

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far out, man.

What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?

They both watch whales.