Lifeguard Jokes

What do you get when you cross a computer with a lifeguard?

A screensaver.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far out, man.

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

You're too far out, man.

What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?

They both watch whales.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do you know that Santa is a man?

No woman wears the same attire every year.

What did the man say while holding a square clock?

I'm holding Time Square!

Drown Hippie Jokes More Drown Hippie Jokes

Why couldn't the life guard save the drowning hippie?

Because he was too far out man.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?

He was too far out man.

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

What do you say when you see three whales?

Whale whale whale, what do we have here

Why did the whale like the diver?

Because he had flippers!

Hippy Jokes More Hippy Jokes

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning?

He was too far out maaaaan.

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why are millionaires bad at swimming?

Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :(I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?

Bilingual What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks only 1 language? American.

What do you call a bird with 3 wings and 3 legs?

Triangull

Wave Jokes More Wave Jokes

What did one flag say to another?

Nothing! They just waved.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish