How do we know Jesus wasn't good with the ladies?

He only got nailed once

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who wants to know?

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why dosn't Jesus christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

What do you say to a lady that has to make 100 shirts by tomorrow?

You seamstressed