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How do you find a girl with no legs?

Follow the slime trail.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?

Rex (made this one up myself!)

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

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Why did The Walrus go to a Tupperware party?

He wanted to find a tight seal.

What do you call an element found in the ground?

Barium.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

Asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?

A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

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How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

What followed the Big Bang?

The Big Cigarette