How do you know that someone you met is...

How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico?

Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin.

How do you know which bear to talk to in a bar?

You have to read ursine.

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

How can you tell if a good ole boy from North Carolina is married?

There are tobacco spit stains on BOTH the doors of his truck.

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Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

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How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

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How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.