Harvard Jokes

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard?

They'll tell you.

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common?

They got into Yale.

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

You might also enjoy:

Regret Jokes More Regret Jokes

How many Murdochs does it take to change a lightbulb?

They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do crows know what time is it?

They have the knights watch.

What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman?

Lots.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

What did the pizza say to the pizza cutter?

Wanna pizza me

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

Why was the battery arrested?

Cuz it was charged with electricity.

What did the corn chip say to the battery?

If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.

Yale Jokes More Yale Jokes

What 11 letter word does every Yale graduate spell incorrectly?

I n c o r r e c t l y

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

What is the number 1 rule at a computer bar?

Always tip your server.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

Because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy hair.

What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children?

1%

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

How did the farmer figure out how much milk he had?

He used cowculus!

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.