Harvard Jokes

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

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How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard?

They'll tell you.

What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common?

They both got accepted to Yale.

What do all Yale and Harvard students have in common?

They got into Yale.

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

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How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

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Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

Why was the battery arrested?

Cuz it was charged with electricity.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Harvard Graduate Jokes More Harvard Graduate Jokes

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate?

He already told you so.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many telemarkers does it take to change a light bulb?

3. One to change the bulb and two to talk about how beautiful the turns were.

How many reddit admins does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Seriously who knows? It's pitch black in here.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of weed do muslims smoke?

Quranic

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you. Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the worst thing about your girlfriend having a miscarriage?

Trying to look upset.

How many Frenchman does it take to defend France?

I don't know. They've never tried.

Graduate Jokes More Graduate Jokes

What do you call graduates from secret society school?

Alumniati

What do you want to be when you graduate high school?

No more than 25" from Gary Muledeer

World Jokes More World Jokes

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

What's the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What's the best part of having Alzheimer's?

You get to meet new people everyday!

Why Romeo could not meet Juliet at an Apple Store?

Poor Juliet! Did not know Apple stores don't have Windows!