How do you know when a liberal is really dead?

His heart stops bleeding.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Where is the English Channel?

Pupil: I don't know my TV doesn't pick it up

How do you know a drummer is at your door?

The knock speeds up.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why are you just telling me now?

He said, Because I couldn't stop laughing.

How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

Tape velcro to the ceiling.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Why did Bowie die?

I guess he was shot through the heart

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?

Brush their teeth!

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

Liberal Jokes More Liberal Jokes

What do you call a bunch of liberals protesting the second amendment?

Triggered

What is a bigot?

A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal.