How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

This joke may have profanity.

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How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But it takes five episodes.

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How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently 10 aren't enough:

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How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years?

Kissing strangers.

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!