How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb?

You don't need to, they glow in the dark.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh well, I'll figure it out later.

How many vegan people does it take to change a lightbulb?

One vegan, I am vegan, it was me - the vegan, I was the only vegan, it was me.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

Why did the chicken walk into the bar?

To screw in the lightbulb.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What pillar doesn't need holding up?

A caterpillar!

Why do we need iron in our diets?

Because it's good ferrous.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

You can't tell it's in the dark

Glow Jokes More Glow Jokes

What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls?

Altha'or syzygena

What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark?

A LED Zeppelin

Ukrainian Jokes More Ukrainian Jokes

Why should you never wear Ukrainian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fall out

What's the worst part of a Ukrainian gas station?

When you see the tongue drag across your windshield.