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What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

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Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

15 Year Jokes More 15 Year Jokes

Where will you see yourself in 15 years?

A Mirror

Why was Jared Fogle upset?

Because he was sentenced to over 15 years in prison.

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.