Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

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What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

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What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see the floor show!

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?

Carpet!

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Solution Jokes More Solution Jokes

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam?

Because to him, alcohol is not a solution.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick?

Bricks get laid.

What do a 275lb white lady and a 275lb cinder block have in common?

A Mexican is going to lay them one day

Spill Jokes More Spill Jokes

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why does a bride wear white?

So the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances.

How many blonde jokes exist?

One. This one. The rest are all true.

Persian Jokes More Persian Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Why were the Persians attracted to the Anatolian Greeks?

Because they were Ionic.

Pixar Jokes More Pixar Jokes

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Igloo Jokes More Igloo Jokes

What do eskimos do when it gets cold?

They go into their igloos and sit around a candle. What do they do when it gets even colder They turn on the candle.

What do you call an Igloo without a toilet?

An Ig!

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do you call someone who randomly shows up and drinks your alcohol?

Bill Murray.

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.