Carpet Jokes

What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A carpet.

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see the floor show!

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?

Carpet!

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Pixar Jokes More Pixar Jokes

Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Stain Jokes More Stain Jokes

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

15 Year Jokes More 15 Year Jokes

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Rug Jokes More Rug Jokes

How does SpongeBob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How did the blonde burn her ear?

The telephone rang while she was ironing.

How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What did the Math book say to the pencil?

I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

What did the astronaut from AA say in space?

Houston, I have a problem.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person?

Would you pull that crap with a net?

Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics