Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

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What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

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What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see the floor show!

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?

Carpet!

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Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What's in an STD salad?

Green pees

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What are the three types of men?

The handsome the caring and the majority.

What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years?

Pete.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican on a riding lawnmower?

Promoted.

What do you call a Mexican fighter pilot?

Air Force Juan.

Solution Jokes More Solution Jokes

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

What do you call an equation with no solution?

A hypocrite.

Carpet Bombing Jokes More Carpet Bombing Jokes

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

What is a chameleon's motto?

A change is as good as a rest!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

Why can't dogs play hockey?

They always get called for roughing.