What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a cake and a school bus?

Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday cake!

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What happens to all the unsold Christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every Christmas tree salesperson does the trees

What is Martin Luther King's least favorite Christmas song?

I'm dreamin' of a white Christmas

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge?

She saw the salad dressing.

How do government employees wink when they're at work?

They briefly open one eye.

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

How do you manage to stay in shape?

Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."