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What did the pirate say to the other pirate?

Don't touch my booty

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Booty Jokes More Booty Jokes

Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate?

He kept trying to plunder her booty.

Why does the Pirate Wear Camouflage Underwear?

To hide his booty.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.