What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like?

They 'turnip' their noses.

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What do you call making your booty clap for likes and upvotes?

Social netwerking

Why do bears hate shoes so much?

They like to run around in their bear feet.

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How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

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What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?

Stop crying and viper your nose!

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

Turnip Jokes More Turnip Jokes

What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!