Turnip Jokes

What did the vegetable say to the dj?

Lettuce turnip the beet

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What did the vegatable say to the fruit?

Turnip

What vegetable parties the hardest?

A Turnip.

How do farmers party?

They turnip the beets!

What do root vegetables do at tha club?

Turnip

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

What did the farmer say to Lil Jon?

Turnip for what

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

What did the vegetables say at the garden party?

Lettuce turnip the beet

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What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

What do vegetables that go to college do on the weekends?

They Turnip

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What do vegetables that go to college do on the weekends?

They Turnip

How JokeExplainBot spent his weekend?

Explaining his wife.

Carrot Jokes More Carrot Jokes

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

What happened when the carrot died?

There was a huge turnip at the funeral.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why couldn't I run the Compressed File?

I was missing the important Bits.

Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser?

Because he missed a split-end on a curl.

Dj Jokes More Dj Jokes

What do you call a pizza who's a DJ?

DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm.

Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter?

Because he'd drop everything

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

What do you call a guy who likes to hang out with musicians?

A drummer.

' Jokes More ' Jokes

How do you date a ghost?

You 'WOOOO' him!

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What does a ghost pick out of his nose?

Boo-gers

What did the mouth say to the nose?

Nothing; mouths can't ta... oh, wait...

Radio Jokes More Radio Jokes

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?

The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.