Turnip Jokes

What did the vegetable say to the dj?

Lettuce turnip the beet

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What did the vegatable say to the fruit?

Turnip

What vegetable parties the hardest?

A Turnip.

How do farmers party?

They turnip the beets!

What do root vegetables do at tha club?

Turnip

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

What did the farmer say to Lil Jon?

Turnip for what

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

What did the vegetables say at the garden party?

Lettuce turnip the beet

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What was the vegan rock band's first hit?

Lettuce turnip the beet!

What did one turnip say to the other?

We're white and bulbous, just like America

What do vegetables that go to college do on the weekends?

They Turnip

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Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?

CORNY JOKES!!!

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the Pillsbury Doughboy's girlfriend was left out too long?

He had a stalemate.

What happens if Russians fall from an Afghan boat?

They sue Kabul Yacht.

Dj Jokes More Dj Jokes

Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter?

Because he'd drop everything

What do you call an online encyclopedia for DJs?

A wiki-wiki-wi-wi-wi-kipedia

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What would Gregor Mendel pray for if he had a blender for his experiments?

Whirled Peas

What do you call it when you talk to God?

Praying. Now what do you call it when God talks to you? Schizophrenia, it's called schizophrenia.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?

The fruits of her labor.

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why do Asians like to have military time on?

So they can do math

When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

America Jokes More America Jokes

What is the most useless superpower?

America.

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Collard Green Jokes More Collard Green Jokes

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip