What do straight guys and lesbians have in common?

They both like girls

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What do you call an integral that doesn't like derivatives?

An anti-derivative.

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?

An octopuss!

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What does a guy from Philly dunk his pretzel in?

A girl from Jersey.

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

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What did 1 lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?

They're right we do taste like chicken!

What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?

Single.