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What do you call a guy who likes touching unripened cheese?

A fetaphile

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What does a PASCAL programmer say to a C programmer?

"Would you like fries with that "

How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They like it on the dark side.

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What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

How do you know if a guy was in the Navy SEALs?

Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

What time was it when Jared got fired?

When the big hand touched the little hand