What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

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What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five?

You leave him hanging....

What does every Elmo receive before they leave the factory?

Two test tickles!

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What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

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What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

Whats the difference between a hippie on fire and a lifetime supply of patchouli?

I don't wish for a lifetime supply every time I smell patchouli.

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What does the hippie bum say when you tell him he can no longer sleep on your couch?

Namaste

Who the hell buys furniture online?

Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay