What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk?

A centipede with a wooden leg!

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What goes 99 clonk, 99 clonk, 99 clonk?

A centipede with a wooden leg!

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

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What lies on its back 100 feet in the air?

A centipede

Why a centipede cannot fly coach?

Not enough leg room!

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Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?

Because he always uses a razor.

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers!