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What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?

Dad dad look what marma-laid'!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How many of you believe in telekinesis?

Raise MY hand!

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

What do a lonely astronaut and your thumbs have in common?

They both hang out at the Space Bar.

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!