What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What kind of bird lays electric eggs?

A battery hen!

What do you get...... when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and and agnostic?

Answer(/s "Someone who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog")

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's blue, small and sits in a corner?

A baby with its hand in the power socket.

When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

When his hand caught fire!!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call that which barks during the day and floats during the night?

Your grandma's Jaws

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

What do a lonely astronaut and your thumbs have in common?

They both hang out at the Space Bar.