What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do you get...... when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and and agnostic?

Answer(/s "Someone who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog")

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call slapping hands with (5.5+1)/2?

A high phive!

What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

What does a perverted cow do at night?

Beef Jerkey

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

What should we call the big finger?

Thumb' seems as good as any." "Impressive. What about this smallest one " "PINKY!" "............."

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!