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What is the difference between a wife and a mistress?

About 20kg.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

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Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..

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On a blind date!

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.

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What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.