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What's got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog Derek, s01e05

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

Why did jillian fall of the swing?

She had no arms! Why didnt jillian get back up? She had no legs! Knock knock! Whos there? Sure as hell not jillian

How do you call a dog with no legs?

You don't call it, you pick it up.

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What's got two legs and bleed a lot?

Half-a-dog!

What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...