What's Jared from Subway's favorite chord?

A flat minor

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What do you get if you drop a piano into a mine?

A-flat "minor"

What's Jared from Subway's favorite chord?

A flat minor

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What's Jared's favorite ingredient for his Subway sandwiches?

Extra virgin oil

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

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Why did the 16 year old girl get pregnant?

She went to Jared.

How did Jared lose 150lbs?

He kicked two 7-year-olds out of his bed.