What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How did Jared lose 150lbs?

He kicked two 7-year-olds out of his bed.

What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire?

Mourning wood

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Which program do Jedis use to open PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi.

Why can't Nietzsche use pencils?

Because they're all pointless

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

Exercise Jokes More Exercise Jokes

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops?

Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What did one device say to the other?

Are you syncing what I"m syncing

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

How many have you derailed this year?

I replied, "I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"

What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

200 Pound Jokes More 200 Pound Jokes

What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?

About 200 pounds.

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

Jared Fogle Jokes More Jared Fogle Jokes

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*