200 Pound Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

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What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?

About 200 pounds.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How did Jesus lose his virginity?

When he was nailed on the cross.

Why did the doctor make an old woman cry?

He lost his patients

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between love and hate?

A) Usually about 6 months.

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do we use black pens on white paper?

So hangman is more realistic.

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

How did Jared from Subway get food poisoning?

He ate a 5 year old weiner

What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?

A metro-gnome

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

Why did sumo wrestlers start shaving their legs?

To stop getting confused as feminists

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Which bounty hunter specializes in tracking elves?

Jingle Fett

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

Average Person Jokes More Average Person Jokes

Whats the most common work of fiction?

The average persons resume

What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?

About 200 pounds.