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200 Pound Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

Love Card

Love Card

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

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Average Person Jokes More Average Person Jokes

Whats the most common work of fiction?

The average persons resume

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM?

Because he charges!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop clowns from attacking you?

Go for the juggler

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What's the difference between handguns and feminists?

A handgun only has one trigger.

Why don't feminists carry handguns?

Because of the triggers. I'm sorry

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common?

They're both really high and have no access to water.

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call it when you go to the store just to use their dumbbells and then leave?

Shoplifting

How do you save a drowning mouse?

Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

What do me and Subway have in common?

12 inches

Exercise Jokes More Exercise Jokes

What do the people of Skyrim use to exercise?

A Nordic Track.

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.