Exercise Jokes

What does the captain of the USS Enterprise do for exercise?

Jean-Luc Picardio

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What do you call a gunman who exercises?

An active shooter!

What do the people of Skyrim use to exercise?

A Nordic Track.

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

How do college students exercise?

By swimming in their debt.

What does seven days without exercise make?

One weak!

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What is this world coming to?

Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise

Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops?

Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.

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Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

What kind of exercise does Ned Flanders like to do?

Diddily-squats.

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

How often do you exercise?

About 3 to 4 times a week. "Be honest." 2003.

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Weightlifter Jokes More Weightlifter Jokes

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Where do weightlifters get their sandwiches?

Subwhey.

Rid Jokes More Rid Jokes

What's the best kind of cream......to get rid of spots and bug bites?

Creamation.

How do you get rid of pubic lice?

Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.

Jesus Christ Jokes More Jesus Christ Jokes

Why dosn't Jesus Christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

What do you call an exercise group run by Jesus Christ?

Crossfit.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do beekeepers say when they go to work?

Alright, let's get down to beeswax!

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What are you taking for it?

Man replies "Pollen"

What's up, punk?

Nothing," he replied, "I've just never seen a man using hair rollers before."

College Student Jokes More College Student Jokes

What do you call a person with ten dollars?

A college student.

What did the college student say to a banker?

I am forever in your debt.

Uss Enterprise Jokes More Uss Enterprise Jokes

What happened when the USS Enterprise got a new toilet?

William Shatner

What does the captain of the USS Enterprise do for exercise?

Jean-Luc Picardio

Obese Jokes More Obese Jokes

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.