Exercise Jokes

What does the captain of the USS Enterprise do for exercise?

Jean-Luc Picardio

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What do the people of Skyrim use to exercise?

A Nordic Track.

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

How do college students exercise?

By swimming in their debt.

What does seven days without exercise make?

One weak!

What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising?

Pants.

What is this world coming to?

Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise

Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops?

Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.

Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

What kind of exercise does Ned Flanders like to do?

Diddily-squats.

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What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

How often do you exercise?

About 3 to 4 times a week. "Be honest." 2003.

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What is the difference between a camel and a college student?

Camel can go days without drinking!

Why did the college student ask for a refund on his student loan?

Because his *degree* didn't work!

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Why was the gunman on a diet?

Because he was still at large.

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Why is Jesus Christ so buff?

Crossfit

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (Jesus Christ this one's even worse than the last)

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Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

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Why were the breakfast potatoes running around hitting each other?

HashTag!

Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team?

Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US.

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How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

Why is Facebook such a hit?

It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own'.

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What do you call a guy in a lot of debt?

Owen.

Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.