What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands?

Having half a screaming child on your hands.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's the worst thing to hear during a prostate exam?

Look! No hands!

Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior?

They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

How many r/jokes redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer is 2. One to change the lightbulb while the other screams "REPOST"

What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help?

This is not a drill!

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why's the necrophiliac's blow up doll half inflated?

So he can pretend she's decomposing.

Why did the half blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well!