What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How are you today?

Me: Tim.

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

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What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?

Men, get in the boat!

Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Suffocate Jokes More Suffocate Jokes

Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

How do you suffocate a redneck?

Tape his mouth shut.