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Where do dead people buy their cigarettes?

At the coroner store.

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Where is the best place to buy computer software?

Washington C.D

Which phone??

Person 1: Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2: Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1: So what about summers then? Person 2: Same, it freezes often as well

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How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

The cigarette.

How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself?

It's smoking a cigarette.

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Where do dead people buy their cigarettes?

At the coroner store.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!