Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia?

He was snowed in.

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How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russel

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Why are cars in Russia so slow?

Because they are always stalin.

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

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What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in

Why didn't the NSA request AT&ampT's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

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Why did the US Informant get stuck in Russia?

He was snowed-in.

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land

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Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow?

He got snowed in.

Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.