Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle?

Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'

How was work?

Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good

Snail Jokes More Snail Jokes

Why did the snail cross the road?

It is not clear yet, let it cross the road first. Update: It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

What did the snail say as he rode on the back of a turtle?

Wheeee!

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?

Because they mess up the whole house!

Why you never mess with imported ants?

Because they are **important**.

God Jokes More God Jokes

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Detroit?

Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.