How was work?

Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

Howdo you stop a baby from running in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the tricycle stop working?

Because it was two tired...

What's black and doesn't work?

A quadriplegic chimney sweep.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you call an awkward questioner?

I don't KNOW, that's why I **asked** you. God.

What are the similarities between feminists and hobos?

They both ask for change and never get any.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You meet new people every day.

Who's there! Conga! Conga who?

Conga go on meeting like this!

Giggle Jokes More Giggle Jokes

How was work?

Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

How did you get those horrible burns?

Flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Abreast Jokes More Abreast Jokes

How was work?

Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good

What do you call two women standing side by side?

Four abreast!