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Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?

She heard he was in a few good men.

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Who directed this?

HIM: "A bear attack." ME: "Never heard of him."

What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?

Anything you want. He can't hear you.

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What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails?

A cruiseifixion.

Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible

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Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?

She heard he was in a few good men.

What's the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?

You can't keep a good man down!

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Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?

She heard he was in a few good men.