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Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?

He wanted more Monet in his wallet.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was the fish swimming backwards?

It didn't want to get water in its eyes.

How are new marriages just like LOST?

The Significant Others just want babies.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks?

Because he got a hole in one!

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

Monet Jokes More Monet Jokes

How does someone pay for a painting?

With Monet

Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre?

Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh.