Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?

He wanted more Monet in his wallet.

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Why did the duck leave the dancefloor?

He didn't want to get down on it.

Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing?

Because he didn't want to spoil his looks.

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Why buy an invisible knife?

I don't see the point

Where do Sikhs buy clothes?

Turban Outfitters

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Why do wallets make so much noise?

Because money talks.

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

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Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre?

Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh.

Why didn't the art thief get away?

Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh.