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Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail?

Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why was Mary Jane not a virgin?

Her mother leaves.

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours?

Skip to the next track

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

Condescend Jokes More Condescend Jokes

What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs?

Condescending

What do you call a persnickety con artist walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.