Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!

This joke may have profanity.

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What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunderwear!

Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter?

They get chapped lips

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Why did KGB officers always travel in threes?

One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

How do you know when someone's read the Game of Thrones books?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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How do you surprise Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

Why did Helen Keller try lsd?

Because she was told it makes you see things!

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What body movements alert you that a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

What goes oo ooo oooo?

A cow with no lips.

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What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in common?

No ballroom.

What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?

No ballroom.