Why is it fun to play with matches?

They're lit.

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What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant?

It'll Dimsum.

What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?

A tiger moth!

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What do you call a cow that plays with itself?

Beef Stroganoff

Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British?

It's only check, mate

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Why does a bride wear white?

So the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances.

Why does the bride always wear white?

Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.