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How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb?

Tell him the lightbulb is his mother.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

13. Number 9 will shock you!

How many people with alzheimer's does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the otherside!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many metal drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but it takes 32 lightbulbs.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes?

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?

Check their jeans.

How many times does a woman laugh after you tell her a joke?

Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice* What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?

When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?

Dad dad look what marma-laid'!

Sigmund Freud Jokes More Sigmund Freud Jokes

How many Sigmund Freud's does it take to change a light bulb?

Cocaine.

What did Sigmund Freud do for Mother's Day?

His mom.