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How do you save a suicidal procrastinator?

Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why Did Superman Save a Burning Chemistry Lab?

He was trying to save Krypton

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Simba tell everyone in the lunch line?

Musafa

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?