How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children?

You put a guitar in his hands.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?

Get off at the next stop!

Guitar Jokes More Guitar Jokes

Who.. Plays The Guitar.. Boy: How Do i play the guitar?

Girls: You Should be on TV for your talent. Boy: Am i so good..... Boy: if you were on TV, i can atleast switch it off...

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why didnt the witch have any children?

Because her husband had a hollow weenie

What do you call a Children's show with some Alcohol added in?

Booze Clues.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

Molest Jokes More Molest Jokes

How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children?

You put a guitar in his hands.

Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

Because the testicles