How does one know a man is going to say something smart?

His sentences start with "A woman once told me.."

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food?

Because he said he loves miso.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What state did the programmer start her road trip in?

Maine

What colour pants do you need to start a vehicle?

Khaki

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

To draw the curtains!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later.

What did the bad shock tell the good shock?

I'm bad under pressure!! It's the lamest car joke in the world.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

When can a woman make you a millionaire?

When you're a billionaire (Credit to Kevin Hart)

What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?

The ATM