None, that's what students are for.
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
Ctrl - C, Ctrl - V
One says, "Spit out your gum!" The other goes, "Choo Choo Choo"
Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, Sir. Headmaster: Exactly.
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
I didn't take algebra!
Equationally.
